Why Stress Hits Neurodivergent Kids Differently | Fight-or-Flight, the Nervous System, and Child Development in San Diego
If you’re a San Diego parent raising a child with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), ADHD, sensory processing challenges, anxiety, or developmental delays, you may notice something confusing:
Your child seems stressed by things other kids handle easily.
Small changes feel big.
Transitions feel overwhelming.
Noise, crowds, or pressure lead to meltdowns or shutdowns.
This isn’t because your child is weak, dramatic, or “not trying hard enough.”
It’s because their nervous system processes stress differently.
Stress Is Not Just Emotional — It’s Neurological
When most people think about stress, they think about emotions.
But stress is actually a physiological nervous system response.
A child’s nervous system is constantly asking one question:
“Am I safe right now?”
When the answer is yes: The body supports learning, digestion, sleep, and connection
When the answer is no: The nervous system shifts into fight-or-flight
This shift happens automatically — not by choice.
What Fight-or-Flight Looks Like in Children
Fight-or-flight isn’t just panic or fear.
In kids, it often shows up as:
Emotional outbursts or irritability
Anxiety or hypervigilance
Sensory defensiveness (noise, touch, crowds, clothing)
Difficulty sleeping or winding down
Digestive issues
Impulsivity or restlessness
Shutdown, withdrawal, or exhaustion
For many neurodivergent children, this becomes the default state.
Why Neurodivergent Kids Experience Stress More Intensely
Dr. Rachel Wong-Homer, Pediatric Chiropractor in San Diego, Pediatric Adjustment
Research shows that children with autism, ADHD, sensory processing disorder, and genetic or developmental conditions often have:
Altered autonomic nervous system balance
Higher baseline sympathetic (stress) activity
Reduced parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) tone
Increased sensitivity to sensory and environmental input
This means their nervous system:
Detects “threat” more quickly
Takes longer to return to calm
Uses more energy just to stay regulated
In busy environments — including vibrant cities like San Diego — stress can quietly accumulate throughout the day.
The Immune System and Stress Are Closely Linked
Stress doesn’t just affect emotions.
It also affects the immune system.
When stress is ongoing:
Immune signaling increases
Inflammatory messages rise
The nervous system stays on alert
Research published in Nature and Nature Communications shows that the brain receives immune stress signals via neural pathways and adjusts nervous system output accordingly.
This helps explain why parents often notice:
Regressions after illness
Increased anxiety during immune flares
Sensory challenges when a child is sick or run-down
Stress, immunity, and regulation are deeply connected.
Why “Calm Down” Doesn’t Work
When a child is in fight-or-flight:
The thinking brain is less accessible
The body is prioritizing survival
Reasoning, logic, and instructions don’t land
Telling a stressed nervous system to “calm down” is like asking a smoke alarm to stop ringing while the smoke is still there.
The body must feel safe first.
Regulation vs Stress Management: A Critical Difference
Dr. Nicole Wong-Homer, Pediatric Chiropractor in San Diego
Many approaches focus on managing stress.
A nervous system–based approach focuses on regulation.
Instead of asking, “How do we control this behavior?” We ask, “What does this nervous system need to feel safe enough to regulate?”
When regulation improves:
Stress responses soften
Emotional flexibility increases
Sensory input becomes easier to process
Recovery after hard moments happens faster
Behavior often changes after regulation improves.
How Nervous System–Focused Chiropractic Care Fits In
At Sprout Family Chiropractic in San Diego, we don’t treat stress, anxiety, autism, or ADHD.
Our focus is on the nervous system itself.
Neurologically focused pediatric chiropractic care is designed to:
Reduce physical stress on the nervous system
Support clearer communication between the brain and body
Improve adaptability and resilience
Help the nervous system shift out of constant protection
Care may include:
Objective nervous system scans to assess stress patterns
Gentle, age-appropriate chiropractic adjustments
Low-level laser therapy (photobiomodulation), when appropriate
A regulation-first, whole-child approach
The goal is not stimulation.
The goal is regulation.
Key Takeaways for San Diego Parents
Stress is a nervous system state, not a behavior choice
Neurodivergent kids often experience heightened stress responses
Fight-or-flight affects learning, sleep, digestion, and behavior
Regulation supports resilience and development
Supporting the nervous system helps the body handle stress more effectively
Frequently Asked Questions About Stress and the Nervous System in Kids
Why does my child seem stressed all the time?
Their nervous system may be detecting threat more easily and taking longer to return to calm. This is common in neurodivergent children and those with chronic stress or immune challenges.
Can stress affect my child’s immune system?
Yes. Chronic stress can influence immune signaling and inflammatory responses, which in turn affect nervous system regulation.
Is fight-or-flight the same as anxiety?
Not exactly. Anxiety is an emotional experience, while fight-or-flight is a physiological nervous system state. A child can be in fight-or-flight even if they can’t name feeling anxious.
Can chiropractic care help calm the nervous system?
Neurologically focused pediatric chiropractic care supports nervous system communication and regulation. It does not treat diagnoses but may help the nervous system respond more adaptively to stress.
A Final Message for Parents
Your child isn’t overreacting.
Their nervous system may simply be working too hard.
When we support regulation, we give the brain and body the space they need to handle stress, adapt, and grow.
If you’re a San Diego parent curious about how stress may be affecting your child’s nervous system — and whether a regulation-focused approach could support them — we’re here to guide that conversation.
Scientific References & Further Reading
Thayer, J. F., & Lane, R. D. (2000). A model of neurovisceral integration in emotion regulation and dysregulation. Journal of Affective Disorders, 61, 201–216.
Huerta, T. S., et al. (2025). Neural representation of cytokines by vagal sensory neurons. Nature Communications, 16, 3840.
Jin, H., et al. (2024). A body–brain circuit that regulates body inflammatory responses. Nature.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory. W.W. Norton & Company.
Proudly supporting kids with ADHD across Clairemont, Mira Mesa, Scripps Ranch, Kearny Mesa, La Jolla, and all of San Diego
Sprout Family Chiropractic | Pediatric + Nervous System Experts
Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult your child’s healthcare provider for personalized guidance.